My Inner Canvas:
I longed to be a bird with wings,
to soar high and taste freedom,
yet my fear chained me
to the comfort of my own cage.
This is me —
my true identity,
my true inner feelings
I am shy to express.
Quiet Wishes:
I do not have “dreams” in the glittering, larger-than-life sense.
But I have quiet wishes —
smaller than dreams, yet bigger than passing thoughts.
I know my flaws,
and a bit of my strengths,
but I cannot yet turn them into opportunities.
Instead of making me strong,
they sometimes make me volatile
and shut me down.
My Doubts:
I know my doubts (more than just questions)
and their answers.
Yet I don’t want to question myself
or answer my known worries.
I feel comfortable
as long as I don’t have to face anything.
Magic & Miracles:
I believe in magic
and miracles happening overnight.
I imagine waking up
and finding my life changed.
But am I ready to face a new opportunity
or the change?
No, I am not.
Am I ever ready for a change?
Probably yes and no.
Am I confused,
or am I just uselessly trying
to complicate things
in the most fragile and unnecessary ways?
The Wish for Normalcy:
Yes, I do want to live a normal and regular life,
and sometimes I want to take a challenge —
a change management of my own self.
But why am I lagging to take that one step
to start a new challenge?
Why do I fear the outcome?
Why can’t I see the road ahead?
Why can’t I accept the fact
that everything is in my hands?
Why am I not able to make myself strong,
to mentor myself,
to face the new world and fly out?
Why can’t I change my life for myself?
The Threshold:
What is stopping me?
What is pushing me back?
What is the thing I have to undergo
to have a new identity —
a transformative awakening that cracks my shell?
The Awakening:
When will I realize what I need
and what I want to become?
When can I live the life
I used to dream in my subconscious mind and heart?
When can I speak up for myself
and tell myself:
Hey, I want this.
I will do this.
And this is me.